Less but not lesser.

Since January, I've given up more than I have taken on for the first time in my life.

10 minutes ago I did something I have never done before. I replied to an email and politely declined an invite to speak at an event. I don’t have anything else to do that day.

It’s not because I don’t appreciate the offer, not because I don’t need the money, but because I don’t really feel like it.

Since January, I’ve given up more than I have taken on for the first time in my life.

I have sat on the couch more than I have in a long time. I have read books. I don’t create content for social media like I used to. My local gym closed down and thus I have stepped back my gym routine and whilst I miss the endorphin buzz and the social element, I am reminded that my push-up progression doesn’t define me.

I’ve been up mountain tracks. I’ve been in the sea. I have done yoga. I have gotten two new piercings I’ve wanted for ages. I have cleared out clothes. I have finally gone to visit friends I’ve been meaning to see for years (more of that to do!)

I no longer sit in board meetings. Reader, I know none of this is revolutionary. But it is life-changing.

I’ve had time to myself. I’ve had time to be bored. It’s not something I’m used to but I’m getting comfortable with being idle and not feeling guilty about it. I am coming to terms with the fact that I don’t owe anyone my time.

I am considering training as a yoga teacher, not necessarily with the aim to teach but more with the aim to learn as much as I can. If you know me personally, you’ll know this Guinness-swilling, expert in expletives woman doesn’t ‘fit’ the blueprint for yoga teacher- but who says you can’t be a yoga teacher with a fondness for a pint of Guinness and a well versed tongue in almost every bad word in Ireland?

I am trying to pay attention my cycle, to the moon, and to what my body wants. This is the first time I’ve felt like writing for myself in over a year. The words are flowing as are the thoughts for more pieces in the future. I am relieved.

I am still struggling with the merits of ‘less’ because of the culture of ‘more’ combined with the obsession with being busy is so deeply rooted in society’s current values.

I keep reminding myself- doing less doesn’t make me less.